Legal Terms

IMPORTANT-READ CAREFULLY:  This Legal Term Notice is a legal agreement between you and “us”, which includes any letter, face, or word found on this page. By clicking on, using, reading, accidentally opening, or loading this page, you agree to be bound by these terms and conditions. So help you god.

1. GRANT OF USAGE. We grant you the following rights provide you comply with all terms and conditions:

1.1. Reading and use. You may use, learn, and grow from the information found on this site. Not doing so results in an automatic cancelation of this agreement, and we must ask you to immediately close this page down, and never return.

1.2 VOLUNTARY REGISTRATION. We grant you the right to register within 20 seconds, in order to be able to comment on articles, pose question, and interact in other ways not here presented. If you chose not to register, the world will not cease to exist. We respect your decision to not provide us with a username and password, because unlike the government, we care about privacy.

1.3 USER CONNECTIONS. You may share this website with a maximum of five (5) friends/robots. If you have more friends than that, we’ll look the other way. Who are we to judge?

1.4 REMOTE LOGIN. We will allow you to log in remotely, given that we don’t have a physical location on earth (yet). But if we did, we’d totally make you physically log in. Lucky you.

1.5 STORAGE/NETWORK USE. Sorry, we don’t have extra space for you to store your online files. Can you tell that we used Micro$oft’s EULA to write our own yet? You should read it sometimes, it’s very fun.

2. DESCRIPTION OF OTHER RIGHTS AND LIMITATIONS

2.1 DIGITAL RIGHTS MAN-HOLE. All images created on this site, unless stated otherwise, are copyleft. We cannot claim copyright over them because we believe that ‘sharing is caring’. However, we can copyright the way we write our sentences. You have the right to read, not to cheat. We hereby revoke your ‘right’ to plagiarize any and all websites/book/text that you may come across from this day forward until your death.

2.2 MAD RAD SCIENCE CONTENT. This Legal mockument does not grant you the right to use chat-speak. So please refrain from using it when posting comments. You may speak proper English, whether it be American or British. Anything less is unscientific, and cannot be tolerated on this website, and shall therefore be casted from this universe and into another. And maybe your login information, if you really like to use it.

2.3 INTERNET-BASED OTHER WEBSITES. We provide links to other pages. Since these pages aren’t governed by ourselves, we cannot guarantee any services/promises/ideas/language they lied to you about. Sorry about that.

3 RESERVATION OF RIGHTS AND OWNERSHIP. We reserve all rights not expressly granted to you in this Legal mockument. Rights like, your inheritance, your genetic components, your opinion. Just kidding. All we own is the domain name, and the cool code that makes this website so pretty. We don’t even own these pictures. We just got them off Wikipedia (because they’re in the public domain and we can do that without getting into any real trouble) and change a few things about them. Also, we own the rights to that  secret, so don’t tell anybody.

4. RESTRICTIONS ON SELLING OUT, MAJORING IN BUSINESS, AND CHEATING. Majoring in business is for losers. Cheating is for low-lives who are racing to the bottom of the gene pool. And we think you’re better than that. So we’re not going to let you do that to yourself. If you have cheated before, we absolve all of your sins from this day past, and if you do it again, we’ll cast you into the burning abyss that is the Internet.

5. CONSENT TO USE OF DATA.  We like to share our information with our readers. Sometimes too much of it. By reading these Terms of Service, not only are you wasting your time, but you’re also consenting information entering your brain. Creepy.

6. WHICH LEADS US TO OUR LAST POINT. Don’t hack the site. What’d we ever do to you? =(